As Agile Managers and Product Owners, we often feel powerless to get much done on our own. Stakeholders make demands instead of engaging in meaningful conversations about feature trade-offs. We need influence, especially when we’re blocked from removing organizational impediments that harm our teams. That need for influence becomes increasingly critical.
We know this yet, every day, our actions and mindset chip away at our influence:
- Relying Solely on Facts - I used to think that if I just presented the right data, people would inevitably listen to me. If this worked, our political debates would be far more civilised. Sure, we need data to back up our arguments, but it’s not a magic wand.
- Thinking Pushiness Equals Influence - I once believed being pushy was the key to getting my way. In the short term, it might get results, in the long term pushiness sours relationships. People are less inclined to help those with whom they have a poor relationship.
- Ignoring Relationship Building - Just like hostage negotiators establish rapport, we must take time to understand others’ needs. By framing our requests in terms of their priorities, we can enhance our influence. Remember, don’t cultivate relationships for the sake of influence alone—that’s manipulation. Build genuine connections; it’s not just more enjoyable, it’s essential for influence.
- Asking for Too Much Too Soon - When we view influence as pushiness devoid of relationship-building, it’s easy to see why asking for help can make us harder to like. Clearly communicating our teams’ needs helps others see how to support us.
- Ignoring the Endowment Effect - The people around us often overvalue what they already have. When we ask for change, we’re essentially asking them to sacrifice something they perceive as important. Our proposed change has to be framed as a greater improvement to overcome the effect.
- Believing Some People Are Just Naturally Influential - Sure, some folks seem born with a knack for influence, but the truth is that it’s a learnable skill. With practice, anyone can become influential.
- Thinking “I Don’t Deserve Influence” - When we catch ourselves thinking “I don’t deserve…” about any aspect of life, we undermine our potential. If you’re advocating for your team and product, you absolutely deserve influence! Embrace it.
- Viewing Negotiation as Combat - We’ve long since put trial by combat behind us (thank goodness), yet we still treat negotiation like a battlefield. Effective negotiation is more about collaboration than combat. Good negotiators focus on understanding other’s needs and finding ways for both parties to feel satisfied.
The first step toward becoming more influential? Invest time in building healthy relationships with your team, peers, stakeholders, and senior management. Strong relationships are the backbone of influence.
#YourTurn Where have you recognized that you’re giving away #Influence and what did you do to reclaim it?
#Influence #Ship30For30